Dear Paul B,
This is a tough decision for me. I got engaged about nine months ago to Charlene. We had known each other for about three months before getting engaged. We met at our club, and we always had a good time. She is very smart, and she has helped me get my act together. She says I am a “work in progress.” Since our engagement, I have had many doubts about our relationship. She has diabetes, and has not been careful about her diet. It runs in her family, and I am tired of talking about this issue. She has gained 17 lbs since our engagement. She said that she would quit smoking, but has cut down to 1 1/2 packs, and claims that is very difficult for her. She doesn’t take care of me as well as she did before, and I don’t know why. She used to help me dress for work, choosing my ties and suits, and now she tells me that “it is time for me to grow up.” I am spending more on restaurants, because she tells me she is too tired to cook after working all day. Our house is a mess, and we don’t even hook up like we used to. I am worried that things won’t get back to normal. What would you do, Paul B?
I was praying that you wouldn’t end your letter with those four words… Your relationship has been Fast and Furious (pun totally intended,) and could end in a horrible crash (sorry, guys.) You dated for three months and became engaged? Why didn’t you just get married after the first date? My sarcasm is uncontrollable, Will, and I apologize…somewhat. What’s your hurry? Slow down, take a step back, and envision this so called impending life with Jekyl and Hyde. Which is the real woman that you were so attracted to when you met? How well do you know her, and do you see yourself happy going forward? Her diabetes is an inherent issue, and will be for life. Her sudden weight gain will wreak havoc on her condition, as you mentioned. Her actions speak volumes, more so than her prior conviction to your needs and desires. She must believe that you are “stuck” and have no choice at this juncture. You most certainly do. When you see red flags, you must stop and consider the consequences. I smell a fish here, and it is becoming more rancid as we speak… Will—I WON’T give you my blessing….You need to jump off the Titanic..this voyage has an Iceberg waiting for YOU…
Jack White — “Love Is Blindness” — The Great Gatsby Soundtrack (Official Version).
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