Ask Paul B: Smoking NOT an Option for Teen …

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Dear Paul B,

My son, who just turned 17, claims that it is his “right” to smoke, and I can’t stop him. My friends, his two older siblings, and even a teacher have spoken to him. He will not relent, but I have threatened to kick him out if he doesn’t stop. He smokes in front of me, and I can’t stand it. I fear that the second hand smoke will harm me and my two dogs. He has become insolent and disrespectful since he started smoking at home. I think he is “testing me.” Need some help.

Mama K

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Dear MK,

Testing you? You think? Of course he is. Sources report that over 6,000,000 die every year from the “brown plague.” In foreign countries, mostly Asia and India, tobacco causes more deaths from chronic lung disease than cancer. Smoking can also lead to death from tuberculosis. I can report DEATH stats all day long due to smoking. A pack of cancer sticks costs about $8.65 on average, unless you go online to purchase. The ONLY positive for smoking is one’s ownership of Phillip Morris or R. J. Reynolds stock; a decent hedge I must say, to cover your funeral expenses. MK, tell Chief Smoking Punk that you will NOT charge him rent ($200 monthly,) if he quits smoking TODAY. Otherwise, he better use that tobacco dough to cover his $200 per month habit. It’s all about options, so don’t threaten without a viable option for him. At a pack a day, he’ll cover his “rent free room,” and keep him upright for an additional 25 years or so. Stay tough, Mama K.

Paul B

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