Dear Paul B,
I am 50, and I have been taking care of BOTH parents for seven years. They are difficult, sickly, often very hostile toward me and my kids. My Dad even threw his coffee on the family dog a few months back. They are just too much at times. I volunteered for this duty, but I thought I would get at least a little help from my two sisters. They seem too darn busy and I am disgusted with them. My wife is an angel and is the only one patient enough to give them the time that they need. Heck, it takes over an hour just to feed them sometimes. I love them but I need some help. My one sister sends me a check once a month, because she can afford it, but the other one just cooks two or three meals per month and only stays for a few hours when she does. I asked her to pick up some incidentals at Target and she presented me with the $45 bill. She said she didn’t think she should have to pay it. Isn’t there something wrong here?
Oh yeah, Doug. There is trouble here and you have been way to accommodating to your sibs. It is one thing to send a check, but another to take little or NO interest in your parents. I don’t understand how some people can just wash their hands of a parent and expect another to be responsible for THEIR parents ALL THE TIME. You must arrange a sit down with both sibs, and discuss how EVERYONE must have an ACTIVE role caring for them. You may need to consider an elder care facility or bringing in a daily caregiver to give you and your “angel” (and she must be,) a break. All sibs must contribute what they can: either time or money, or both! You have borne the burden for way too long. Kudos to you, but this type of daily struggle can be too burdensome on you and your entire family, not too mention your HOT dog. Your Dad may need to see his doctor asap, as he may be entering into a mental illness, such as Senile Dementia or Alzheimer’s.
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