Dear Paul B,
I have written before, and I know that you seem fair minded. We all know that marriage can have its ups and downs. I have been one great Dad, and husband for 14 years. My wife is a living doll, and takes care of the kids and our home. Three months ago, I ran into an old high school friend and we caught up on old times. She lives an hour away, but we just had such a magnificent time. We all knew the same people, and she has had some bad luck. She lost her husband a few years back, and finds it difficult to meet quality individuals. I really felt bad for her. We have been meeting each week or so, and one afternoon she made a pass at me, and we had just one liaison. I feel terrible, but I will never do it again. I know it was stupid, but I forgave myself and realize that flesh is weak. I don’t want to hurt Justina or the kids.
OK. You want “forgiveness” from me? I am not a priest (nor do I play one on TV.) You already FORGAVE yourself (boy, you’re easy,) so why write me the long tale? You don’t mention that you have stopped this “romance in wait.” If you did it once, you will go back for more, and you and I BOTH know that. If you don’t want to walk away from your family and a 14 year commitment, then you will need to see a professional. I know you feel guilty about your faux pas, but you need to straighten out your life. You are allowing yourself the excuse of “flesh is weak;” malarkey! Grow up, cut the crap, and stay on the straight and narrow. Speak to a shrink about this incident, and end this “friendship” before it is too late. Sex is always terrific the first few times or so, and then it becomes very common, especially when you are sneaking around. You have a childish side to you who likes adventure, and you’re going to hurt many people in the process. If you have “issues” at home with Justina, then work them out with HER. Playing around is nonsense and it will not solve any problems, but only exacerbate them. Find a hobby or something fun, like bowling, darts, spending time with your kids, perhaps? BTW- How would you react if you knew Justina had a “rendezvous with a friend?”
IMPORTANT LEGAL STUFF:
Advice is offered for general discussion. Any advice from a columnist or someone who has never actually met you is not guaranteed to be fit for your particular situation. While the advice might help send you in the right direction to find a solution to your problem, missing information or lack of specific dialogue might cause you harm, or delay a solution to your problem. Never use this advice as the sole replacement for advice from a physician, psychologist or other health professional or other professional. The information provided through any Arlingtoncardinal.com post or Ask Paul B! post is not a substitute for health, legal and other professional advice where specific facts and circumstances warrant additional personal attention. If any reader requires legal advice, health advice or other professional assistance, each reader should always consult his or her own legal, health professional, or other professional advisors and discuss the facts and circumstances that specifically apply to the user. Consider the topics discussed as a part of your overall experience for your pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Don’t hesitate to get help when you might need professional help.
The views of Ask Paul B! are not necessarily the views of The Cardinal — Arlingtoncardinal.com.