Dear Paul B,
I will be anonymous (for obvious reasons) as I ask you how I can change my life around NOW. I am constantly stalked by my Mother. She lives alone and calls me on EVERY phone number that I possess. She will call on my cell, then my office, and then on each home phone and leave messages EVERYWHERE. It is a great thing that she does not own a computer (and hopefully, never will.) Then, when I call her back (which could be as LONG as an hour or two,) she is angry because she forgot what she wanted to say, which is typically not too important. She likes Judge Judy, Bonanza, and LOVES Jack Lord in Hawaii Five-0. If I had to sit through any of those shows, I would want choose death, if that was an option! She is a good person, but apparently has nobody to yap with every day, and I just can’t take it anymore. I want to move away, but I have a great job, and a terrific family. Oh, and by the way, don’t suggest any family member helping me with her, they couldn’t handle her in an “effective way.” I am sure that you have had this problem before, haven’t you?
Anonymous
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Dear Anonymous,
I feel your pain, big time. I had suffered this very problem myself, and realized that HONESTY is the ONLY policy here. You must meet with Mom, and have a heart to heart with her. You need to explain that you haven’t the time (during the day, anyway) for lengthy conversations with her, and that you are pressed for time. Ask Mom to write down whatever questions she might have for you, and then you can discuss them after dinner, or right before bed (that way, there is a limit to her captivating story about Little Joe.) It is truly sad that many old timers have very few friends who they can share their interests with, as will as their time. Many seniors have become loners because of a hearing problem or a handicap issue that they may be embarrassed about. They suffer in silence, which is quite sad when you are alone. Try to understand that our loved ones need compassion, understanding, and most of all just some human contact. A surprise phone call can be a God send, even if it is for five or ten minutes. We are all, hopefully, going to be in their shoes one day, so keep that in mind…
FYI- Wouldn’t it be rewarding to see the smile on Grandmothers face when you drop in to visit her? These times are priceless, don’t pass them up.
Paul B
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