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Ask Paul B: A Dad’s Love for His Daughter

Mon June 23 2014 10:00 am
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Dear Paul B,

I am sure you remember my letter from late 2012… I was forcing my daughter out of the house. It hurt badly, but she was out of control on a weekly basis. She wouldn’t listen to me about drugs, boys, stealing money from my other children (and me.) She even keyed up my new truck when on a drunken binge. She was at the police very often, and I just got tired of the same old story. I was threatened by her “boyfriend,” who is a gang member. I begged her to stay away from him. He made her pregnant, and then left her on my doorstep when he was through with her. One abortion later, she had NOT learned any lessons. It is now 21 months later, and she has returned to me and my family. She is grown up, matured (from working out her problems on her own.) We are closer than ever and she’s helping me with her younger siblings. I am a single Dad, and your advice of “setting her free,” was the best. She thanked me (and I thank you) for cutting her loose. She didn’t want to listen to me or her Mom, or anyone who truly loved her. She did open up to professionals, drug counseling, a teacher from her high-school, and a woman who took her in while she got better. I am floored by the “New Sharon.” Having that stop gap (me) was a weakness for her, and she found her life again. Thank-You Paul B.

Big Ernie

Dear Big,

Your happiness is my biggest joy. So great to hear about Sharon. Some people need to hit rock bottom to see what it looks like, and only then can they begin their ascent to normalcy. Your undying love was always there, and for that was her goal. I tell folks that they must never totally give up on children. They need the assurance that your love is strong, constant, and permanent, although we may not always like them for their actions. You sound like you have taken your lumps too, so pat yourself on the back for your outstanding effort. Love does conquer, right?

Paul B

Music video by John Mayer performing Daughters. © 2006 Aware Records LLC


ASK PAUL B! usually appears on Thursday evenings, but occasionally appears on other days or times so the article might be introduced to new readers.

Advice is offered for general discussion. Any advice from a columnist or someone who has never actually met you is not guaranteed to be fit for your particular situation. While the advice might help send you in the right direction to find a solution to your problem, missing information or lack of specific dialogue might cause you harm, or delay a solution to your problem. Never use this advice as the sole replacement for advice from a physician, psychologist or other health professional or other professional. The information provided through any post or Ask Paul B! post is not a substitute for health, legal and other professional advice where specific facts and circumstances warrant additional personal attention. If any reader requires legal advice, health advice or other professional assistance, each reader should always consult his or her own legal, health professional, or other professional advisors and discuss the facts and circumstances that specifically apply to the user. Consider the topics discussed as a part of your overall experience for your pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Don’t hesitate to get help when you might need professional help.

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