Arlington Heights Resident Finds, Reads Own Epitaph

Dear Paul B,

I have lived in our great community of Arlington Heights for over 57 years. I fought for our country, raised our family here, took care of our two girls, and continue to help out with a Grandchild. I was upset to find an “epitaph,” which looked vaguely familiar when I was sitting for my little granddaughter recently. I was shaken, and demoralized to know that my daughter is expecting my demise soon. What is really upsetting is that I am not even sick. I am in my eighties, but I am not planning on leaving anytime soon….not even on vacation! Should I ask my daughter what the heck is going on, or just leave it alone. I am thinking about this way too much, and and old friend suggested that I ignore it. He said that she was probably bored one night. What would you do?

Mr. B

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Dear Mr. B,

I was married to a woman who ALWAYS planned for everything, and I mean everything! She hated surprises and not being prepared. I can only tell you that there are others like her out there, and a heckuvalot worse. I recall that my ex would plan meals four weeks out, and I find that quite unique, given that food coupons aren’t even produced two weeks in advance. If there is a loving relationship here, and I am sure that there is, then just let it go. This is not something you need to challenge her on, unless of course, you find arsenic hidden in the back of a cupboard…

Paul B

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