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Ask Paul B: Patience-Compassion-Respect; Grandma, Valentine’s Day and More

Tue February 14 2012 2:16 pm
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Dear Paul B,

Hello. I am a first time contributor. I am 88, (last week,) and I am a Grandma eleven times over. I am attentive and as generous as I can be (on a fixed income.) My grand kids AND children called to wish me a Happy Valentines Day. If you added up all the messages that I received, plus those that I actually spoke to a person, it wouldn’t rise above four minutes. I am upset at the swiftness of these kids and moreover, my adult children. Are they so busy that they can’t have a conversation with their Mother past “how are you?” Even my littlest Granddaughter was about to leave a message about her painting in preschool, and I could hear my daughter-in-law saying “lets go Carly, it’s time for school.” I know that I may be just a bit sensitive, but when a dozen or so people won’t take five minutes total of their “busy day” to speak to a Grandmother, then there is something quite wrong. I don’t ask for much, do I? Just looking for a little (very little) respect. Believe you me, I could gripe about other issues, but I think I have a very valid point here. I’ll leave it up to you, Paul B.



Dear U G (Upset Grandmother?)

Darn tootin’ UG! How busy can people proclaim to be, when they are sitting in traffic, trains, watching cable, taking a coffee break at work, texting their friends with CELL PHONES! It is rude, selfish, and impersonal to limit a phone call to a Grandmother on Valentine’s Day or any other day. I tell my two teens to “allow for a 10 minute call twice weekly” to their Granny, because that is MY RULE. They used to complain, but they actually take that responsibility upon themselves now. I believe that it’s so important to keep these “generation” relationships healthy, because this is how our kids learn about respect, compassion and love. I have read that most kids (and some adults) spend three to four hours per day in front of the boob tube. As alarming as that is, that does not include wasted computer time. We are fast becoming a generation of “boob tube heads.” How many books do we read per month (or should I say per decade?) Please, I urge you to inform your kids and your parents to visit a library, choose three or four books, and select one to read. It will refresh your mind, your vocabulary and that kicker of “completing that story” is just so gratifying. You might even want to share this story with your U G, and transition her to a H G–try it out, and please share your results. BTW- UG–Let’s give them two points for calling you; better than blanking it out totally.

Paul B


ASK PAUL B! usually appears on Thursday evenings, but occasionally appears on other days or times so the article might be introduced to new readers.

Advice is offered for general discussion. Any advice from a columnist or someone who has never actually met you is not guaranteed to be fit for your particular situation. While the advice might help send you in the right direction to find a solution to your problem, missing information or lack of specific dialogue might cause you harm, or delay a solution to your problem. Never use this advice as the sole replacement for advice from a physician, psychologist or other health professional or other professional. The information provided through any post or Ask Paul B! post is not a substitute for health, legal and other professional advice where specific facts and circumstances warrant additional personal attention. If any reader requires legal advice, health advice or other professional assistance, each reader should always consult his or her own legal, health professional, or other professional advisors and discuss the facts and circumstances that specifically apply to the user. Consider the topics discussed as a part of your overall experience for your pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Don’t hesitate to get help when you might need professional help.

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