Ask Paul B: Selfish is OK By Me (As Opposed to Being a Rented Mule)

Dear Paul B,

I was taught to help others, be kind, and be that “team player” that everyone loves. Forget that $&*%!
I have two horrible sisters, a very selfish Mom, and my Dad steals from me whenever he can. I am never going to be that “team player,” because I always get hurt for being a good guy. I work two jobs and have always helped out others, even my ex best friend. Why is it that all these people just stick it to me every time. I have heard, “thanks, you know I would be there for you,” and “you know I’ll get this back to you before next week.” Only once, maybe twice out of fifty times has anyone ever done what they say. I am too good for these jerks—I am through being Mr. Nice Guy. I feel like an idiot, and I don’t care what YOU or anyone else tells me. My Dad said I was ungrateful–he’s the thief, not me. All he did was give me life, and then he left. He has always used me, and I am tired of it. I have tried to be a great son, brother, and friend, but it’s not working out. When is it ever my turn?



Dear B,

You have love in your heart, and you seem to be one generous and righteous man (or boy–you didn’t state your age.) For crying out loud, B—-Stop being that “rented mule.” You must learn to say no. The first time you “loan money” should be the last if you are not repaid. You sound young (maybe 17 -20,) therefore you should not be counted on to support two sisters AND your folks. Kudos to you for taking on two jobs, and helping out, but its YOUR SWEAT and YOUR $$$$. Do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. You certainly don’t deserve it. You don’t tell me anything about your family members or where you live. It is alright NOT to support these leeches, but don’t allow these “users” to turn you into a distrusting and hateful person. You need to make better much better choices and explain to your sibs, Mom and Dad that you are not a bank. You need to create some boundaries and expectations. I hate lending money because it often creates animosity toward one another.

Paul B


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