Ask Paul B: Lonely? Get Out There?


Dear Paul B,

I am 38, very friendly and accomplished, but I am all alone. I work until 5:30 and I come home and eat in my pajamas in bed. I am so tired of “telling my story” and trying to meet men. I hear of all the sad tales from my friends, and sister (who is twice divorced) that I feel best just being alone watching TV and playing with my cat Stubby. I am only writing you because my Dad tells me that I am feeling sorry for myself and its wrong.

Sally P


Dear SP,

Does SP stand for Self Pity? I am known for being quite direct, and I will be here as well. You are 38, not 48, 58 or 78. You have many years ahead of you young lady (I can say that, I am way older than you.) You did not mention a wheelchair, quad cane or the need for a seeing eye dog. You are otherwise a healthy, smart and employed young lady. I don’t care if you are NOT Heather Locklear (yes, she is still IT for me.) So many young girls/women THINK that they must be HER or Lady Gaga or Pamela Anderson. You do not have to look like them. You have to be YOU, that’s what men want. We want a loving, honest, somewhat generous friend who will understand us. You do not need to be 40-24-46! You must be out there to meet people, Sally. You will not meet anyone except the Stubster, who you already know is your selfless, loyal companion. Get out there with a friend or three, and yuck it up, perhaps twice a week. I have been a member of a health club for 30 years, yet I never exercise there — well hardly. I schmooze with people, make new friends, and even met my wife at a health club. Libraries, parks, some bars, parties, political rallies, seminars, weddings, Bar-Mitzvahs fix-ups, personal ads (I have two friends who met their spouses through ads,) and a myriad of places OTHER THAN YOUR APARTMENT can be effective. Mark it on your calendar Sal, twice or thrice weekly-you’ll see. Let me know.


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