Ask Paul B: Investment in Boyfriend Crashed … How to Recover?

Dear Paul B,

I am one of the most relaxed, composed, and peaceful people you could ever meet. I have several degrees, and I have helped organize a wonderful charity here in Chicago. Of all my accomplishments, I thought I was “investing” in the career of my former boyfriend. I practically single handedly footed the bill for his post graduate education. When he graduated in June of this year, he bought me a beautiful dinner and then left me a note thanking me for my “help” and that it was adios forever. I feel so used, stupid and totally hurt. I don’t want to go out with friends and my humiliation is just tearing me up inside. How do I recover form this ignorant mistake (not to mention the 5 1/2 years with this scum.)

Ellen

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Dear Ellen

When matters of the heart enter into the equation, there are no “degrees” that will help you make the right decision. I am certain that you feel the pain, and the devastation of your lost relationship. You were generous beyond words, but there are no certainties in romance (or for anything for that matter.) You lead with your heart, and you cross your fingers. You sound as though you need to take a nice cruise and refresh, rebuild, and re-energize yourself. Your ex-beau is the dork, not you. He was weak, and you built him a new life with your support, on many levels. You really could have asked for a “financial contract” for his tuition, but I don’t think you saw this “train coming.” Don’t let him ruin the rest of your life. Get Over It!!! We all make mistakes, and then move on. I believe this was meant to happen. Now you need to get out there, and meet new people. Times a wasting, gf.. Good luck to you.

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