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Ask Paul B: Stop $ The Self Pity $

Thu August 12 2010 8:08 pm
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Dear Paul B,

I am not one to complain, but this is truly sad. I am 50, and I now work 3 jobs, and I make 30% of what I used to make over 3 years ago. I was a deck holder at the Board of Trade. I filled orders in the 5 Year Notes and made some excellent coin. I was that crazy, screaming guy in the futures pit with about 150 other nutbags. My membership (seat) was leased through my bosses trading firm. I was paid for every “contract” that I filled for our clients. There were days were I could rake in 3 or 4 thou. My best week ever was $31k plus. It was maniacal but a total rush. I made no errors and life was good. I always joked (past tense) “It’s good to be King.” I was respected, skilled at my work, and I was done by 2:45 p.m. every day. I could sit at the bar and have a few cocktails, and I loved my work. I took a pretty long vacation with my family. We traveled to Italy to visit some family and show my kids where I grew up. When I returned there was a new “regime” and I was out! It is as simple as that. I was told that someone was owed a favor, and I was the fall guy.

I now work two retail jobs, and one delivery truck part time gig. I am sad, frustrated and my three children think I am a loser now. We don’t vacation anymore, and I am driving a 14 year old car with rust spots everywhere. My neighbors must think I am a total moron. I was driving a $55,000 Lexus before my life was ruined. I am surprised my wife still loves me.



Dear Bill,

First of all, these are very difficult times, so much so that I have had 10 fold the letters of this vain that I have ever received. You are not a loser, you have picked yourself up and continue to support your family. You have swallowed your pride, and for that I compliment you. Your wife loves you because you have not given up, and your kids (if not today, perhaps some day soon) realize that life is chock full of speed bumps, obstacles and even near collisions. You are healthy, you have your family, and you have another 40 years to enjoy those “free and wonderful” events that money cannot buy. If you think a Lexus and a few more bucks was everything, you were wrong, buster. You still have it all. You make the money Bill, the money doesn’t make you. Thank the Lord for you and your family’s health,

Paul B.


Advice is offered for general discussion. Any advice from a columnist or someone who has never actually met you is not guaranteed to be fit for your particular situation. While the advice might help send you in the right direction to find a solution to your problem, missing information or lack of specific dialogue might cause you harm, or delay a solution to your problem. Never use this advice as the sole replacement for advice from a physician, psychologist or other health professional or other professional. The information provided through any post or Ask Paul B! post is not a substitute for health, legal and other professional advice where specific facts and circumstances warrant additional personal attention. If any reader requires legal advice, health advice or other professional assistance, each reader should always consult his or her own legal, health professional, or other professional advisors and discuss the facts and circumstances that specifically apply to the user. Consider the topics discussed as a part of your overall experience for your pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Don’t hesitate to get help when you might need professional help.

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