Ask Paul B: Selfish People Rant

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Dear Paul B,

I am so sick and tired of selfish xxxx people. I have supposedly good friends who naturally can talk for 40 minutes about themselves and never ask me a question. I swear, Paul B, that I could put the phone down for 20 minutes and they would never notice. It seems that this is so prevalent that it sickens me. I would rather not have friends at all. How ’bout you, man?



Well, man—yes, I too would rather have nobody than selfish jerks. YOU need to find some new friends, and there are plenty out there. Do not judge people by their outward appearance, as most do. You have also set yourself up by becoming just “too good a listener.” Many people believe that great listeners want “only to listen” and that is pure idiocy. When you become a professional psychologist, then, and only then, would you “love to listen.” Ask one of your so called friends if they know anything about your day, your interests, your life, and then you’ll put them on the spot. Nothing will change as it will be disingenuous, but you’ll feel better for it. Good luck.


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