Funny or Die Exclusive: Lindsay Lohan’s eHarmony Profile


Lindsay Lohan is newly single and ready to mingle!

Lindsay Lohan began her career as a child fashion model before making her motion picture debut in Disney’s 1998 remake of The Parent Trap with Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson at the age of 11. Lohan gained further fame between 2003 and 2005 with leading roles in the films Freaky Friday, Mean Girls and Herbie: Fully Loaded, subsequently appearing in independent films including Robert Altman’s A Prairie Home Companion and Emilio Estevez’s Bobby. Her career was interrupted in 2007 as two DUI incidents and three visits to rehabilitation facilities led to several lost movie deals. Resuming her career, she guest starred in the TV series Ugly Betty in 2008 and filmed Robert Rodriguez’s Machete in 2009.

Lohan was involved in a traffic accident on May 26, 2007 when she lost control of her car and ran the vehicle up a curb. Beverly Hills police also found what they preliminarily identified as a “usable” amount of cocaine in her car. After receiving treatment for minor injuries, Lohan was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of driving under the influence of alcohol. She subsequently entered the Promises Treatment Center rehabilitation facility, where she stayed for 45 days. Upon her release to outpatient care, Lohan was voluntarily fitted with a SCRAM bracelet to monitor her sobriety.


On July 24, 2007, less than two weeks after leaving Promises, Lohan refused a field sobriety test in Santa Monica and was taken to a police station where her blood alcohol level was found to be above the legal limit. While conducting a search, the police found a small amount of cocaine in her pocket. Lohan was booked on a felony charge of possession of cocaine and misdemeanor charges of driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. In August 2007, Lohan entered Cirque Lodge Treatment Center in Sundance, Utah for a third stint at rehabilitation, staying until discharge on October 5, 2007. In 2007 Lohan first dated British TV personality Calum Best and then snowboarder Riley Giles, who she met during her third stay in rehab.

On August 23, 2007, Lohan pleaded guilty to cocaine use and driving under the influence and was sentenced to one day imprisonment and 10 days community service. She was also ordered to pay fines and complete an alcohol education program, and was given three years probation. Lohan released a statement in which she said “it is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs”.

On November 15, 2007, Lohan served 84 minutes in jail. A sheriff spokesman cited overcrowding and the nonviolent nature of the crime as reasons for the reduced sentence. The probation was extended by an additional year in October 2009, following several instances in which Lohan failed to attend the court-ordered substance abuse treatment classes.

In March 2010, Lohan initiated legal proceedings in which she sought $100 million from financial services company E*Trade for a television advertisement (the baby commercials) that Lohan claimed invoked her likeness without her permission.