TwitterACicon86x90vert facebookACicon86x90vert
TV/Radio XFINITY | WOW! | WBBM | WXRT | B96 + Dance | US99 | the Drive 97.1

YoutubeTwitterFacebookArlingtoncardinalYahoo! Google Bing Aol.ArlingtoncardinalTMZ Rotten Tomatoes ET Online Box Office MojoArlingtoncardinal Channel 9 WGN Channel 7 Chicago ABC Channel 5 Chicago NBC Channel 2 Chicago CBS Daily HeraldChicago Tribune Breaking NewsArlingtoncardinal Chicago Gas THE GUIDE

Living a Lie Might Not Work For You … and You Might Regret It

Thu April 08 2010 5:15 pm
 Share The Cardinal -- Articles (E-Mail, Facebook, Twitter & More) 

CHICAGO BEARS RADIO -- WBBM Newsradio 780 "Traffic on the 8's"

Dear Paul B,

You have been there for my grandparents with some sound advice a few years back, and I now have a tough one for you. I am 15 and have always been a great student, an excellent friend, and tried to be a good son. My Dad, who is Croatian and still has a thick accent, always wanted me to be just like him. I am definitely not like him at all. He is very masculine, very good at sports, and is liked by all the women, but he is loyal to my Mom. I have two sisters, but he has always shown more love for me. In the past few years, I am learning that I am not the “boy” that he wants me to be. I try to make him happy, but I am terrible at sports, and do not enjoy watching them either. I really like music and food. The other part of my problem is that I think I am gay. I know that he would never accept it, and he would be terribly ashamed of me. I think my Mom would be alright, but I don’t know how to tell my Dad. I am thinking about leaving to live with relatives in Europe. I cannot sleep and focus on school at all. I cannot hide who I am anymore, and it hurts, but I really need to go. Are you o.k with this?



Dear Alec,

You are one brave soldier, but you do not give yourself enough credit. YOU should not be the one to be ashamed of anything, and least of all to leave your family, your friends, your country, for crying out loud. Give your Dad some credit here. If he loves you, (and I am sure that he does,) then he must accept you for the great boy that you are. You are obviously affectionate, bright, and willing to “save your Dad” to live with relatives abroad. Wait a darn second. It is your Dad who must and will deal with your “new identity.” It may be difficult for him, but he will adjust and still love you! You must be true to yourself, and be who
you are and need to be. I have known people who tried to be someone else, based on their families’ opinions and expectations. They are never happy, and consequently, neither are their families. Can you project to 70 years from now, that you wasted your life as an impostor, a phony, a fake? This is NOT a rehearsal, pal, this is the real deal – it’s called LIFE — It is YOUR LIFE- Just LIVE IT!!!

PS- I was engaged, and married after losing a sibling some years ago. I realize now that my reasons for this were not out of love (for my ex-wife) but for my family.
It did NOT take!!!

A Man– Keep me posted– I am always here (at least until the grim reaper arrives.)


Advice is offered for general discussion. Any advice from a columnist or someone who has never actually met you is not guaranteed to be fit for your particular situation. While the advice might help send you in the right direction to find a solution to your problem, missing information or lack of specific dialogue might cause you harm, or delay a solution to your problem. Never use this advice as the sole replacement for advice from a physician, psychologist or other health professional or other professional. The information provided through any post or Ask Paul B! post is not a substitute for health, legal and other professional advice where specific facts and circumstances warrant additional personal attention. If any reader requires legal advice, health advice or other professional assistance, each reader should always consult his or her own legal, health professional, or other professional advisors and discuss the facts and circumstances that specifically apply to the user. Consider the topics discussed as a part of your overall experience for your pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Don’t hesitate to get help when you might need professional help.

The views of Ask Paul B! are not necessarily the views of The Cardinal —

CLEAR SKIES?  Weather Data for Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Tags: , , , ,    

IMPORTANT NOTE: All persons referred to as subjects, defendants, offenders or suspects, etc. are presumed to be innocent unless and until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt in a court of law.

Try a more powerful search in the box below ... SEARCH BOX PRODUCES RESULTS FOR The Cardinal -- ...
(POWERFUL SEARCH for The Cardinal, which can be expanded on the results page.)

Where background Wikipedia info/photos are used, original work is modified and released under CC-BY-SA.

::: Health, wellness and fitness gifts! ::: Cubs, Sox caps at :::

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS BREAKING NEWS --The Cardinal -- is a breaking news blog with Arlington Heights & Chicagoland emphasis. Early breaking reports may prove to be inaccurate after follow-up investigation, which may or may not be updated in The Cardinal -- For in-depth coverage, please also check the following links for network television, cable news networks and Chicago local media coverage ...

Daily Herald | Daily Herald -- Arlington Heights |
Today's headline videos: FOXNews Video | | Associated Press | The Cardinal
Chicago Area Newspapers
Video LOGO youtube Twitter Arlingtoncards facebook battery status Cardinal Calendar Search Batteries Plus RSS Help ...
All Headlines
crimeblog | fireblog

Comments for
COMMENTS are now available via one or more of our official Facebook pages. Comments no longer appear on the article per se. Please comment on or check the other popular Arlington Cardinal Facebook pages at ...

Anyone having information about serious crime in Arlington Heights should register on and look for the anonymous TIP411 feature, or call Arlington Heights Crime Stoppers at 847-590-STOP (847-590-7867). Callers are guaranteed anonymity and may qualify for a cash reward of up to $1,000. Not a resident of Arlington Heights? Check for availability for your community. | Traffic on Twitter


Weather radar map is provided by

RSS Cardinal Weather Center