Bill Slowsky — a turtle? He likes things slow, as shown in this Comcast commercial

You come push it … you push it real good.

Comcast points out that the further you are from a DSL hub the slower your Internet connection. Comcast claims their cable modems work the same speed no matter where they are.

Meet Bill Slowsky, a DSL customer that happens to like slow — he’s a turtle or a tortoise. He explains this while he pushes his laptop further out in his backyard to see if his connection gets slower.

Of course, the DSL companies point out that more people sharing that connection in your neighborhood might slow down that cable modem connection.