“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”
— Sheryl Crow (sherylcrow.com)
Sheryl’s quote was published on her blog on 4/20/2007. She added:
Later in Sheryl Crow’s blog post is mention of some great times with some schools, including colorful posters decorating the gym … hmmmm … how many squares of toilet paper could you get out of all those colorful posters?
Consider Sheryl Crow’s touring requirements:
Sheryl Crow is apparently very particular about details and requirements on her performance contract, which has day-to-day instructions on what kind of alcohol should be available each day:
Wednesday? One bottle of Courvosier Brandy
Thursday? One bottle of good quality Champagne
Friday? One bottle Silver Tequila and one bottle of Margarita mix and one carton of orange juice
Saturday? One bottle of Absolut Vodka and one carton of orange juice.
Sunday? One bottle Silver Tequila and one bottle of Margarita mix and one carton of orange juice
Also for every show Sheryl Crow and her entourage requires 12 bottles of Grolsch beer, 6 bottles of “local” beer, and a bottle each of “good Australian Cabernet” and a “good Merlot.”
Does someone who is so demanding with her alcohol requirements really think she can demand all of us non-celebrities to limit our squares of toilet paper? Considering the effects of alcohol on the gastrointestinal system, most would find it difficult to believe that Sheryl herself can limit the task at hand to one square of toilet paper. Chronic diarrhea can be caused by chronic ethanol ingestion . Consumption of alcohol affects the body’s capability to absorb water – this is often a symptom that accompanies a hangover after a heavy drinking session. The alcohol itself is absorbed in the intestines and as the intestinal cells absorb it, the toxicity causes these cells to lose their ability to absorb water. This leads to an outpouring of fluid from the intestinal lining, which is in turn poorly absorbed. The diarrhea usually lasts for several hours until the alcohol is detoxified and removed from the digestive system. Symptoms range from person to person and are influenced by both the amount consumed as well as physiological differences. Alcohol-induced diarrhea is often accompanied by “the follow through” where a feeling that the patient is going to break wind (flatuence) instead becomes an uncontrolled episode of diarrhea. See also ‘shart‘ and ‘cake batter‘ on UrbanDictionary.com.
The global warming activist and her touring entourage (and equipment) travels in three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars.
1. Kasper DL, Braunwald E, Fauci AS, Hauser SL, Longo DL, Jameson JL. Harrison’s Principles of Medicine New York: McGraw-Hill, 2005. ISBN 0-07-139140-1.
Keyword: Sheryl Crowe, Cheryl Crowe