Kissing the Lifeguard Can Get You in Trouble

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So you’re at a hotel swimming pool and you can’t keep your eyes off the lifeguard. You think … ‘If I only could get close to that hunk or babe. Why not pretend to be in trouble, so the unsuspecting rescuer of swimmers in distress comes to my aid? Then plant a surprise kiss.’

Something like that happened at an Arlington Heights hotel on the west side of town Sunday afernoon — New Year’s Eve. But the plan just didn’t work out so well because the offender got a visit and scolding and possible arrest from the Arlington Heights Police.

Maybe the hotel will have to change their Pool Rules sign: (1) No Running (2) No Glass Bottles (3) Please Shower Before Entering Pool (3) No Talking to the Lifeguard (4) No Kissing the Lifeguard


Peter Cetera’s hit Save Me (Listen on iTunes) was a smash the first season (1989/1990) of Baywatch. You can also find it on the Peter Cetera One More Story CD from Amazon.

Listen to Please Don’t Talk to the Lifeguard by Diane Ray on iTunes
or get the CD on Amazon: Boyd Rice Presents Music for Pussycats

“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
Says the sign where I go to swim, oh-oh-oh-oh
How can I get to know him?
How can I get to show him
That I am so much in love with hi-i-im

Dark and handsome, golden tan
Six feet tall, man-oh-man!
Gotta make him mine, all mine
Wish they’d take away that sign

“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
Guess I’ll swim way out into the sea
And then I’ll meet him when he rescues me-e-e

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