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Ungrateful Wednesday: Turkey’s Eve Worst for 2015

Wed November 25 2015 11:35 pm
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5 tech turkeys of 2015; warm-up for all the tech turkeys of 2015.

Thanksgiving is probably one of the best holidays of the year because being grateful is a key to happiness on earth. Gratitude is like the root system of a tree that brings successful growth to a healthy tree, only in humans it brings a fully-enriched life with opportunities.

However, Wednesday night is Turkey-Eve, and it’s time to remember the turkeys that keep us from fully reaching for the stars.

1. The telemarketing call. All these years in operation, and even after the implementation of the DO NOT CALL list, these calls are still a problem. If you’re smart, you just ignore them. If you don’t ignore the unknown caller-ID, you’ll probably pick up a handset and hear dead silence, a telerobot voice, or a delayed pickup by a human who is working in a sweatshop. “You’ve just won a cruise!” Good luck getting these to stop, since politicians like to use robocalls to get you out to vote for themselves.

2. Spam email. It’s strange, but there are so many spam emails that eventually some appear to be relevant. For example, you’re expecting a package, and you get a spam email about a package shipment. Of course it’s not about the package you’re expecting. It’s just a coincidence because even a blind squirrel finds a nut. You’d swear “they” are monitoring you life. Hopefully, you didn’t open an email with a nasty payload. But why is this still happening in 2015.

3. Apple TV and other TV boxes. Monthly news, entertainment or TV subscriptions anyone? Good luck making one of these stop if you don’t want it anymore. Entertainment is supposed to be fun and relaxing. But today, keeping yourself entertained at home can be harder work than your actual job. Oh and also, enjoy those streaming video programs when they come to a standstill in the middle of a good part of the movie.

4. Chip cards. They’re slower than old-fashioned credit cards, but they’re more secure. Unfortunately they’re slowing down the shopping lines. People have to insert the card — “just right.”

5. Facebook notify. Who wants to pack more messages on their their locked smartphone screen. No one? Anyone?

6. Smartphone battery. OK, the personal computer was mass-marketed in 1984. That’s over 30 years ago. Smartphones took off in the 2000s. You would think by know there would be smartphones with a battery life of a week or two. But, noooo; people are extremely lucky if they start work with a full charge at 6:00 a.m. and don’t have a dead battery by 11:00 p.m. Probably, turning off Facebook notify would help. But seriously, wouldn’t it be nice if at least there would be a strong enough battery by the time millennials become senior citizens? That way if techy seniors get lost and family members realize eight hours later that they’re missing. they’ll still have a couple of days or a week to have authorities ping grandpa’s smartphone, and find out where he is. Today, by the time you realize grandpa is missing, there are probably less minutes left on his smartphone battery than his age.

7. AppleWatch. Maybe someday, as USA Today’s Jefferson Graham explains, Apple will develop a watch that is light, that has a battery that lasts an entire day, that has apps that are useful and can actually be seen, and is more than just an iPhone extension. But right now that is not the AppleWatch.

8. The business telephone greeting that is also an advertisement. Can’t businesses just answer the phone, and say, “hello how can I help you?” If a business telephone doesn’t answer with a series of menu choices, you’re bound to hear a breathless employees blurt out a compound sentence that tries to sell you something before you’ve even had the chance to say what you’re calling about. By the time the employee has recited this message to about 10 callers, they have lost all energy, and the message is now really uninspiring. What idiot manager thinks this is a good idea?

9. The drive-thru speaker box that tries to sell you something. How about just saying: “May I take your order?” If you managed to wait in line for five or more cars in the drive-thru, you probably know what you want by now. This is really about the same as #8, but is harder to believe is happening because now you are about to drive up to the person that just ticked you off with their canned message. And they smile. And you smile. And then you shake your head.

10. Junk mail. Have you ever thrown out a check or a gift card that was stuck in a mail flyer. Of course, you don’t know if you ever have done this, because if you knew it was there, you wouldn’t have thrown it out. Anyway, who enjoys sorting through piles of junk mail every week or end of the month.

Well now that we’ve cleared up the turkeys for 2015, let’s be grateful on Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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