Rare Extreme Experiences Don’t Equate to Normal ‘Life Experiences’ That Bring Wisdom

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Dear Paul B,

I know that you have offered your advice to my parents, but you’re all wrong about me this time. I am 17, but I have the experiences of a much older person. I am so much in love with my boyfriend Adam, and don’t feel that I have to satisfy YOU, of all people, that we should be married. Adam does everything for me, and has even promised me that he will stop using any drugs when we get married. It is very hard for him to stop, but he loves me very much. My parents look to you for the answers, and you are not always going to be right. Stop interfering with my life and find somebody else to bother.

Amy

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Dear Amy,

I can appreciate that you have all of these “life experiences” at 17. Yes, being arrested for attempted robbery, attempting to pass checks with a stolen identity, and protecting your boyfriend who has put you in the hospital with broken ribs, broken cheek-bone and missing teeth does place you in rare territory, experience wise. However, the fact that you have omitted these “life experiences” from your letter to me tells me all that I need to know. You are not mature enough to be married yet, and your boyfriend’s promise to quit doing drugs after you marry doesn’t really impress me all that much. Call me tough to please, but you need to lose this immature, girl-friend beating imbecile and start over. You need to finish your high school studies, and make a decision about your impending delivery (another forgetful fact.) You need motherhood like I need to gain any more weight. I became involved because I care about your family. Your parents do indeed love you and asked my opinion in this matter. You WILL find love again, I’ve been married three times, and I was in love every single time!

Paul B.

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