Ask Paul B: People Haters? Bigots? Ignorance? Intolerance.

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Dear Paul B,

I grew up in a family of bigots. My folks (more my Mom than Dad,) found huge problems with all minorities. They even hated our pastor… I can’t understand why they were like that. When I went off to school, met Sahar (who is of Indian heritage,) I knew there would be issues. Boy, was I right. I don’t even speak to my folks, and my younger sister is on “their side.” I just don’t get it. Sahar is wonderful, smart, and loving. Her parents consider me their fourth child. It hurts, but my love is deep and unshakable for my new wife. I hope things change. What do you think, Paul B?

Dick

Dear Dick,

Did you ever consider the fact that a great many people do NOT like people? I am certain of it. I have met those who tell me of their relationships, and then someone finds out their religion, background, ethnicity, marital status, etc… and POOF, it’s over. I have been divorced, and lost a former girlfriend when she found out that I was — she was “incensed” with my status as a divorcee. My cousin dated a great guy, only to find out that he was an ex-con, after four months. It was a white collar crime, they discussed it with me, and they are now happily married for over a year. Doesn’t everyone deserve a first and second chance? Should people be treated differently if they are a Roman Catholic, or a Mormon? Does the color of their skin make them worse, better, or different? I LOVE peeps, and find most of them quite interesting, learning about who they are, and what they are all about. I can’t say that most people share my passion for folks. I am sold that you can never have enough friends. I commend you on your commitment to Sahar, but doubt that your family will “come around” anytime soon. Ignorance, stubbornness and intolerance of others for illogical reasons are an apple-cart full of dysfunction. It is clearly their loss, because you and Sahar sound like a well adjusted, generous, intelligent and open-minded couple in love. Maybe in time, they’ll wake up and smell the coffee. Good luck, you two!

Paul B

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