So you’re at a hotel swimming pool and you can’t keep your eyes off the lifeguard. You think … ‘If I only could get close to that hunk or babe. Why not pretend to be in trouble, so the unsuspecting rescuer of swimmers in distress comes to my aid? Then plant a surprise kiss.’

Something like that happened at an Arlington Heights hotel on the west side of town Sunday afernoon — New Year’s Eve. But the plan just didn’t work out so well because the offender got a visit and scolding and possible arrest from the Arlington Heights Police.

Maybe the hotel will have to change their Pool Rules sign: (1) No Running (2) No Glass Bottles (3) Please Shower Before Entering Pool (3) No Talking to the Lifeguard (4) No Kissing the Lifeguard

Peter Cetera’s hit Save Me (Listen on iTunes) was a smash the first season (1989/1990) of Baywatch. You can also find it on the Peter Cetera One More Story CD from Amazon.

Listen to Please Don’t Talk to the Lifeguard by Diane Ray on iTunes
or get the CD on Amazon: Boyd Rice Presents Music for Pussycats …

“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
Says the sign where I go to swim, oh-oh-oh-oh
How can I get to know him?
How can I get to show him
That I am so much in love with hi-i-im

Dark and handsome, golden tan
Six feet tall, man-oh-man!
Gotta make him mine, all mine
Wish they’d take away that sign

“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
“Please don’t talk to the lifeguard”
Guess I’ll swim way out into the sea
And then I’ll meet him when he rescues me-e-e

T.A.T.U.

All The Things She Said

Lots of energy, no clue what this song is about.

… Will I ever be free?

This tune just might be the best contender to match the popularity of the 1986 ‘Super Bowl Shuffle’ … The performance is split into two music videos on YouTube …

You can find out more about the rappers at BigHitBuda.com

‘We Da Bears’ lyrics by Big Hit Buda

Defense! Defense! Defense! Defense! Defense!
We’re the Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

We’re the Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

Take a whiff Chicago
You can smell it in the air
There’s a hungry team called ‘Da Bears’
Soldier Field goin’ nuts
Jumpin’ out their chair
Who’d rather be anywhere but here

We don’t care
if its below zero
Let it dump a foot of snow
we still gonna break bones

If we win the coin flip
We choosin’ to kick
’cause we got a defense
that love to hit

Pulverize the League
with our smashmouth ‘D’
Slicin’ up teams
like Mike Singletary

Forever reppin’ the ‘C’
Makin’s Papa Bear proud
Givin’ Chicago somethin’ to shout about

We Da Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

We Da Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

With Jauron and Wandstat [say what?]
We was feelin’ bummy
We winnin’ games now
I love me some Lovie
We want the Lombardi
more than we want money
There’s a QB buffet
and the Bears are hungry

Remember when everyone
used to pick on the Bears
Now they scared
we takin’ the picks off the air

Smackin’ the Packers
Brutalizing the Lions
After a TD
we spiking the Vikings

Growin’ up with the Bears was frustrating
’til we got rings with Richard Dent and Payton   Hell Yeah
Ever since then
Been patiently waitin’
All these years of frustration
I can no longer take it

We Da Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

We Da Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

We don’t stop hittin’
til the clock quit tickin’
We stickin’ … blitzin’
Dominate the line of scrimmage

4th and inches
Y’all better kick it
Hit so vicious
You’ll be payin the ER a visit
Get ready to play ‘D’
when you kick a three
Might take it back to the house
Make history

Vascher … Urlacher
We’ll jack you up man

Get our fans rockin’ the stands
like Konerko’s grand slam

Cause panic in your huddle
Hit the QB .. cause a fumble
You got the ball
Chain gang won’t move a muscle
Now listen
This ain’t no Super Bowl shuffle
Is a big hit from Buda until down
Let’s rumble!

We Da Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

We Da Bears
Monsters of the Midway
Knockin’ teams out every Sunday

Fire in our eyes
Can’t stop our drive
Hit so hard
reminds you of ‘85

A 16 year-old female was arrested Friday night for driving without a

valid license near Arlington Heights Road and Orchard.

You’re a cop patrolling your beat and you turn into a shopping center. You can’t help but notice that a man is passed out in a flower pot in front of a store. Is it ‘the big one’ or is he just sleeping? This northside beat officer, checked it out, and everything is gonna be alright.

You Don’t Bring Me Flowers by Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond on iTunes

Sometimes you hear something and you can’t believe your ears. Most things that involve the police or fire departments are serious matters. But for whatever reason: stress, circumstances, the human condition, extreme stupidity or just plain irony; you just might tilt your head and have a hard time holding back a giggle, or a cringe or a shaking of your head. These are sentences you thought you’d never hear.

The Cardinal forwards a few of those incidents (below) that just make you say: ‘Can you repeat that?’ We don’t want to laugh at anyone’s misfortune, so we’ll keep the locations obscure and the names of businesses and people involved a secret. In fact, we don’t even usually know who these people are.

Have a Nice by Bon Jovi on iTunes | Bad Day by Daniel Powter on iTunes